Loneliness: Cliches Don't Help Anyone

Happy New Year,

It was never helpful advice, yet over the years people said many of the cliche things about being single. Coincidentally, someone made a video about "Stuff Christian singles hear", and I posted it on my Facebook wall a few months ago.

Sidenote: I made a BINGO card, and in the squares I wrote some of these sayings. I did, however, leave a couple out for the purpose of analyzing them closely.

Do you know who else was single? Timothy...

If I ever say something like that to a young man suffering with loneliness, battling with patience, and on the brink of raging against his beliefs and relenting to sin and guilty pleasure, then stuff me in an automated funny car with no brakes, and force me to drive against traffic during Friday rush hour.

I have no right to disregard his emotions and feelings by comparing an insecure teenage male to one of the principal figures of the early Christian church. In both situations someone said that to me, it was done to shut me up, and focus on who I was not.

My life history is full of stories which
should have ended with me doing such things.

I am aware Timothy and his spiritual mentor, Paul, were single dudes whom God instructed to preach. The history of the kid pouring his heart out to you, however, is not yet completed; who are we to relegate his life concerns? Dudes, please listen to that young man speak before addressing his concerns and praying for him. There may come a time when you shouldn't say anything and just listen; he may need a sounding board to bounce ideas off, and pick the healthy ones from those that are disgusting.

Pray Harder

Nothing says "I don't know what to say to you" more than that statement. Praying for anything, should it be a person, place, or thing, any "harder" will not make it happen or change God's mind. His Holy Spirit determines whether that happens or not (Luke 11:9-13). There are proper and more important things that are essential in every walk of life to ask for in prayer, such as wisdom, discernment, patience, trust, devotion, and understanding. The benefits of using these gifts are in the obedience and adherence with God's will; knowing God's will also comes from reading His Word (Luke 19:11-27).

Therefore, listen to those with concerns, and pray for things they will definitely need in the future, even though they are asking and/or using little bits of it in the present.

That's all I can think about on this subject. Sorry for the unusual break, but the other half is on a different post. I thought it was important enough it deserved to be on another post.

Dear Future Wife...

There are some things you should know about me...

1. There is only one LT; no, not the running back.
2. I never liked Winnie The Pooh. I will never like Winnie The Pooh.
3. Steamboy > Spirited Away
4. I never won a game of SORRY! I play to win, but I don't want to win; it's too much fun.
5. If you ask why I name the first of each of my electronic devices "Vanessa", I will respond with the words "I don't want to talk about it!", cry hysterically, run to my room, slam the door behind me, and sulk for two hours.
6. I cry for Otoko-tachi No Yamato, any NFL Films documentary involving Dick Vermeil, and The Ninth Doctor's (Chris Eccleston) regeneration scene from Doctor Who.
7. I laugh at Angry Birds.
8. What is my kryptonite? Kittens, white chocolate, Ric Flair turnbuckle flips, Mahjong, Major League Baseball Authentic On-Field caps (size 7 3/4), and Nike N98 track jackets with matching polo shirts.
9. I will know when I had enough steak (dog house).
10. It is never too late to cruise around South America.
11. You will find I am very good at altering my voice.
12. On Saturdays, you may hear someone yelling at random intervals. That's just me watching soccer.
13. There is no number 13.
14. Why do I need so many Foxtrot anthologies? = Why do humans need oxygen to live?
15. Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone.
16. I must watch CTFxC. Every day.
17. I think we could have a great time shopping at IKEA.
18. Hazel, Fiver, Bigwig, Woundwort. You know what I'm talking about ;)
19. The dot in my pinky finger will never go away.
20. My dream car is the Wiesmann MF3.

Jumbo

It killed him.

He told me how he took my advice, and told her how he felt. He told me how they met at their usual spot every Wednesday for lunch, and how she sat in complete silence as he told her. He told me how she said nothing when he finished. He told me how he asked her what she was thinking. He told me how everything he said made her cry.

Her tears hit him like a left hook. It carommed off his cheek, reverborated to his molars, split his jaw, shot up his skull, shook his brain, buckled his knees, and crumpled his lifeless body to the floor. I knew that feeling, but he said he could take it: He made adjustments to the pattern, and thus became adjusted to the pain. He could take the punishment, the repeated shots, and the constant punches. He wasn't in love, he was punch drunk.

It killed me to watch him get up from his stool with his eyes swollen shut, his nose bloody and broken, and his jaw enflamed with two teeth missing. Between pitiful gasps for any kind of air, he would say "Sheesh da one, Filff. I can doo ith! Sheesh da one! I nooo ith!" He wanted the same thing I did, so I let him go, "Fine, finish the job." I said. Before leaving the corner, he turned to me to wink as best he could with the one good eye he had. "Noo plaablem!"

Now, here we were. I found him still sitting in the chair later that night. His parents called me asking where he was, and I told them I had an idea, nevertheless I would call them once I found him, and drive him home. There was so many wrappers on the tray in front of him; if I didn't come earlier, the manager said, he would eat the entire menu in another hour. Without saying a word, I slinked into the booth and sat there across from him. Mixed with saturated fats and absolute sorrow, his tears flowed from his face and onto the paltry board the fast food joint called a table. I watched him cry for a couple of minutes, before a pair of eavesdropping teenagers in the lineup began whispering about us. "With the way he's going, I wonder if there is anything left." One of them said, which got both of them chuckling. I knew we had to leave, and sadly so did he. As I put my hands on the table to rise from the booth, he stop sulking and asked, "Why duss no one luv me?" I knew there was an answer for him somewhere. Such a question followed other men right into the grave, but other men were not like him. He would die that night if he didn't know.

"I love you, Phil." I said. "We all love you, man."

His sulking quieted down, but he kept crying. Reluctantly, after I rose from the booth, he followed me out of the restaurant leaving a ton of crumpled wrappers, a bewildered manager, and a pair of laughing teenagers behind.

As I opened the trunk to get a pair of water bottles, he sank into the passenger side of my car. When I closed the hatch, I received a text message. It was her: She "heard from friends I was back in town, and since she wasn't doing anything maybe we could..."

I got in the car, gave him a bottle, and put mine in the cup holder.

"Was dat her?" He asked.
"Yes, it's her." I replied. We stared out the car as it started to rain.
"She alweez lucked at yuu." He added.

"Wha dit yuu say?"

Prom Night: Twelve Years Later

Just a quick update about life since that PROM experience, which may or may not include since the time I wrote about it. If you don't know what I'm talking about, click here to read about "My Prom Story".

I need to share this angle not to get sympathy from anyone, but to start a form of dialogue because I know there are many young men (and women) that may benefit from the dialogue and learn there is no shame or condemnation for being in the "Friend Zone". I will not promise "things will get better", nor say "if you have enough boyfriend material, this will happen...", because only you can live out the third or fifth wheel experience where you are, and it is no reflection on your personality or character. I can only share how "My Prom Story" made me the person I am today, and pray you will be a better person than I am.

Every June since that infamous day, whenever I see limousines drive past or PROM photos on my friends' Facebook pages, I would think about it and feel like garbage. In the early days, it was easier to live with because I was a naive young man fresh out of high school, and to quote Boris from Goldeneye (1996) I thought "I AM INVINCIBLE!" As I got older, I had difficulty dealing with those insecurities, and how I dealt with them was destructive.

Lately, writing about my Prom experience, and talking to friends about it feels therapeutic. Of course, I'm visiting those memories on a daily basis now, and you take the good, the bad, and the ugly memories as they come. Surprisingly, I only receive half of the cliche answers I expect when I share my stories, so at least I can count on people to listen, and understand there is a segment of the human population trying to figure things out.

Weddings and I, we...have a history. During the actual ceremony I am alright; in all other associated events, showers, or other engagement parties I am reluctant, reserved, on edge, or I am not there. My attitude and inner turmoil had a significant impact on my friendships: Severing some, and weakening others...(I paused longer than I should have here...someone left raw onions on my desk. I decided to go off topic, and appeal just to the single guy or gal that can't catch a break.)

I believe you are a much better person than I for not going through such a deflating, discouraging, life long experience, so I can only urge you to hang on. I will not promise things will get better, and I will not offer a list of "five things you should do to get girls" like in those idiot Cosmopolitan surveys, because those are not always true. You don't know who is counting on you to stay strong, because in that moment in time you are all they have. Therefore, I urge you to hang on. Please, hang on.

Perhaps the happiest and saddest thing about being me is when I play baseball the sport gives me a license to forget all of that garbage, and allows me to be someone else. I pray before the start of every inning, when I am on the field, and the burden of being "Just Phil" waits for me on the bench. Being single or knowing the love of your life is watching you from the stands should not have any bearing on how you perform in life; those God given talents, and then your drive and determination to use them well determine how great you will become. As long as you trust Him, "miracles" happen.

That's all I can think of right now. My apologies for the abrupt ending, but I have loads left to do, and this took longer than I thought it would o_O

My PROM Story

Based on a true story; man, is it ever...

Yes, I remember my PROM; yes, indeed, I remember that Friday night very well...

I was at home; I downed one whole 3-Meat Delissio Pizza, drank six litres of soda (2L of cranberry, 2L of lemonade, and 2L of blueberry), polished off one pound of Starburst and Skittles candies, played a couple of hours of FIFA99 on my computer, and spent the rest of the night playing video games on my Nintendo 64 and Dreamcast consoles. To this day, I don't remember how I ended up in bed the next morning.

In high school, or at least I assumed that you had one chance to ask a girl to accompany you to PROM, and once you make your intentions known word would get out like wildfire that you asked a girl, and she gave you an answer. If it was yes, everything was hunky dory ^_^ Sure, if you are a dude, you might be on cloud nine, and dancing down the halls on your tiptoes. However, if she said no, it would be foolish to ask someone else. Not only would you offend the next girl by labeling her "the next girl around", but you would appear desperate in the eyes of everyone: That was my assumption.

I had plenty of work cut out for me, after all: I was loud, off the wall, not as well-mannered as I perceived to be, and HUGE (I typed fat earlier, but hindsight takes off twenty pounds; I was HUGE). I gave the girl I would eventually ask out to PROM every reason to say "No", so when she did the initial shock of rejection wasn't there because I half-expected it. However, when I would play back the rejection in my head against the assumptions I had about high school chivalry and "why you only ask once", I thought every girl in the school knew I was looking for a date, and I thought every girl was stand offish from me for the rest of that week.

That was eleven years ago, and I never got over it; I should be over it, yet the fact is my relationship status is as static as the dust collected inside the Toronto Maple Leafs trophy case only magnifies my PROM experience. I will qualify that I got in shape years afterward acknowledging what Jesus Christ did for my life, yet even so nothing changed. As I approach thirty years of age, I have a difficult time trusting people, and I spend most of my time alone at home, restaurants, or IKEA.

All I wanted was an opportunity to be THAT DUDE in someone's life: Whether it was for one PROM, or  for one year in the life of a young woman. I had an ill-conceived notion that I deserved that chance based on my comparison to other people, and rightfully so that chance never materialized. I never lived out my PROM. That's my PROM story.

Guy Chatter: A Certain Kind of Guilt

Allow me to be serious, for a moment...

It's not a death and destruction guilt, but it's a repentance and opportunity to do things right kind of guilt ^_^

On my Facebook News Feed, a friend of mine shared a post from one of those "internet think tank" websites. I am reluctant to read random works put on random websites I never knew before, however I have a vested interest in that particular field, so I decided to check it out. The title explains what it is about, and the link will take you to the site; the following paragraphs is just my response and opinions. Again, if you are younger than eighteen, I suggest you check with your parents/guardian first, and once they give the "all clear" you can read it.

"So You Want To Date My Daughter"

My stomach shudders in terror for two things: That McDonald's chicken wrap I ate three years ago outside Worcester, Massachusetts, and whenever I am guilty about something I did wrong. My story about my lone visit to McPuke's in five years must wait for another time, because this is a more pressing matter.

After reading Mr. Jared Wilson's checklist, I felt a huge amount of guilt and dread. I did equally huge amounts of dirt and drudgery in my past, and most of it when I thought no one was around, or none would notice. I was less worried about measuring up to Mr. Wilson's standards, although they are really high! I won't complain though; it's nice to see a father taking an interest in the Christian life of young men, as they must really love God first. I am more worried about not measuring up to God's standards, since He already knows I'm failing miserably o_O, and why I feel as upset about my shortcomings as I do.

"Why am I not doing that NOW?"

I don't want to do fulfill each of these goals so I can "appear good" or to "buy my way out of living in fear". If I am a Christian dude, then what is important to God and important with the "Mr. Wilson" you encounter should be important to me. Anyone and everyone can see if I'm keeping up appearances, and not living a life of repentance (does that make sense? o_O). Also, I know fulfilling the checklist means nothing, and doesn't guarantee any reward, pat on the back, parade through the streets of Toronto, or get my number retired at the Air Canada Center. What I should desire is clarity, peace of mind, and the ability to look at my friends and mentors in the eye and tell them what's up, and that only comes from God.

There were many times in the past, when I would seek after "Mr. Wilson's daughter" (Not literally, but I'm going by examples) or rather "God's daughter" (Most definitely and literally), and become very discouraged at my lack of...progress. In those weak moments, there are quick fixes everywhere, and some are available at the press of a button, or even at a click of a mouse. Even at twenty-nine years of age and after thirty Valentine's Days, those battles every dude encounters still rage within me, and I do the best I can with those: Praying, reading the Bible, play/practice music, write, go out, play games, or just stay busy (The younger me would say 'go on Facebook and spam your friends', but I found if you aren't careful you can be bit by the jealousy bug and make things worse). I like to say I'm doing alright, but it can be very difficult at my age, so there is no shame in me asking for a little prayer or help.

I am a little disappointed in some of the comments left behind by other readers trying to suit God's Word to their opinions. Instead of coming to terms with how they feel, they make up excuses in vain attempts to discredit the Word in order to write off the guilt. Please, don't be that guy: That is a warning something you are up to is not what you should be doing, and it is only a matter of time before it destroys you.

"Why am I saying this to you NOW?"

Right now, I am thinking about someone I know (You don't know her, I think? o_O). We are friends, however when I do think about her, I think about my relationship with God first, where that stands, and what my relationship with her might look like if I go for it...! She deserves the best, so I pray I can be the best person I can, but only in the eyes of God. It will not be perfect, plus those "inner battles" will never go away; I want a strong vertical relationship, for that strengthens my horizontal relationships. I felt this way about where I am standing and how I should be standing for a long time; I had this idea longer than I knew who she was, but I couldn't really put it into words like this.

Some things to think about, because I can only make so much sense (which isn't a lot o_O):

• The second book of Samuel, twelveth chapter from the BIBLE
• Covenant Eyes, Accountability and Filter Report Website thingy...?
• Go go Gadget Brain!

I AM NOT GIRL CRAZY: Something About BRUNETTES ^_^

Taylor Swift sporting BRUNETTE hair ^_^

I tried writing this to Van Halen; I realized fifteen minutes later that will never work >_< PANAMA! (cue EPIC air guitar solo) PANAMA!

I lived for almost thirty years now, and the most common hair colour I noticed, since I was fourteen, is BRUNETTE. There are many different shades of BRUNETTE: Chocolate BRUNETTE, BRUNETTE with highlights, BRUNETTE with one or a pair of silver swooshes coming down with one on each side of the face... ^_^ What? Oh yeah o_O However, various shades of BRUNETTE are not what this blog is about, at least not today...!

I started this week talking about BRUNETTES because, for over half of my life, most of the significant friendships and relationships I had growing up were with BRUNETTES (Not all at once, mind you, or a big time amount). For example, I go back to a story about how I met one of the first good BRUNETTE friends I had in high school. Now, I was shy and since it was my first year of high school, I didn't know enough about food to know that if I ate too much I would become HUGE. On one particular September lunch period, this one girl walked up to this loner goofball kid (PHIL), who was sitting alone at a desk facing the wall by the garbage cans, and she asked him if he wanted to sit with her and her friends at an actual table in the cafeteria. I was reluctant at first, but after a day or so I eventually became a regular at the big table. Sure enough, the shy kid also began making more friends, most of which are still around today; whether he is still a goofball is up for debate o_O Nevertheless, I still appreciate what that girl did for me in high school. Plus, that was when I started thinking and praying about finding someone like her to build a super-meaningful, no-cut contract life with ^_^ (For another story about a BRUNETTE who helped change Phil's life, click on "Dear JULIA"! Do it after you finish reading this, though.)


No, I did not and still don't go out and check out only BRUNETTES, because that would be stupid and narrow-minded. There is a whole rainbow of super awesome girls out there: You must want to treat each of them with respect, and then there is a strong possibility one will call you her "Mr. Right". In addition, I was only fourteen at that time, so I had a lot to learn about being a dude, what ladies look for, and why it's important not to burp in public. Not quite a tangent: When you read or write about burping, do you feel the need to burp, guys? Social burping, which is not unlike social yawning. Alright, moving on...

In hindsight, I notice that in specific and well-timed moments in life, some of those really good friendships I had were with BRUNETTES! I also noticed, even when I was a goofball or I did idiot-level things in life, they were patient, really good listeners, hospitable, and had lots of friends. STEREOTYPE BUSTER: With that said, I know lots of girls of various hair colours who are also patient and hospitable, and I thank them for putting up with some goofball characters, and for people as ridiculous and wacky as me. However, there are some BRUNETTES that aren't so good at being virtuous, and we need to pray for them, too.

It was possible, in that high school story, to stay or leave that desk by the garbage cans, and sit at another table with a different bunch of folks, or maybe the same group. However, all of the misconceptions I had sitting at that desk would go with me, and I wouldn't know as much about people as I do know. When you do something 'uncommon', take that extra step, and do something kind for someone, you never know what's going to happen, but both you and that other person will not be the same again.

So, the perfect woman for Phil may or may not be a BRUNETTE, but over the years I learned the perfect woman for Phil is patient, a really good listener, hospitable, and someone I should honour and respect at all cost.

Dear BRUNETTES, Stay awesome...and tied for first. Thanks, Phil ^_^

The Girl Before Taylor Swift

BAM, HEADSHOT! Uh oh...I forgot how to blink o_O Send water...and clamps!

Some of my faithful readers recall my many Taylor Swift references over the years, and how every other essay would include a fanciful reference to my future wife, I MEAN, the popular music artist and then a picture of her that I would stare at for...at least...

Oh, it's dark already; how did that happen? Oh...

Moving on, I admit while my whole world stops whenever the subject of Taylor Swift shows up, there was another woman who stole my heart more than a few years prior, and as I prepared to write today I realized, after all this time, I never stopped thinking about her or searching for someone like her to call my wife (Seriously, wife; not girlfriend, not boss lady, but wife, which you pronounce wee-fey ^_^). I imagine Taylor Swift would be similar to the one I'm thinking about now, because so much of the woman I'm looking for I assume Taylor is, which is dangerous o_O I mean, Taylor Swift and Mrs. Phil Wood could be two different people, but Mrs. Phil Wood will be SUPER AWESOME. Take nothing away from Taylor Swift, because she is a HIP young lady, but if I must be realistic in finding my "Future Wife", then I can't bandy that term about like it's nothing. So, with that said, let's zip several months or maybe a year in the past!

In either 2010 or 2011, my younger sister came by for a visit, and in our discussion about life and interests the subject drifted toward who we follow on Twitter. She rattled off the names of a few bloggers I didn't know much about, and just before my brain shut off, she mentioned BRIGITTE DALE. After I picked my jaw up from the floor, I asked her how she knew about BRIGITTE DALE, since I knew who she was long before [my sister] did!

Sigh, isn't she lovely? ^_^ (From Brigitte Dale's Google+ page)

Brigitte Dale was the first woman I ever revered and admired to such an extent that my main goal in life was to find someone exactly like her and marry her the next day o_O, although she wouldn't actually be Brigitte Dale in the flesh -_- I started following Brigitte Dale's video blog on YouTube when I finished university, and with each vlog she would upload every week I would add to the list of characteristics I would find in "Phil's Perfect Woman" ^_^

As I look over this list now, I realize I was being really superficial. I did try to be nice and truthful about what I writing, because who I need should be who I want, and not what I want should be what I need; if you do find the latter, you still feel empty and constantly looking, whereas the former should make you bring you to a closer understanding of your role in the grand scheme, and blossom into more fruitful relationships. It would be awesome to find Brigitte Dale and tell her how fantastic she is as a person and writer, I should strive to reflect those characteristics that I am looking for, and if I'm lacking in anything trust God will satisfy my needs. Maybe, He will show me a young woman who will complete this odd-looking jigsaw puzzle named Phil Wood o_O

What does that look like?

1. FREEDOM: If her joy and identity is found in the God she loves and worship, then she is already HIP and on the right track ^_^ Renown author and speaker Max Lucado said, "A woman should be so hidden in Christ that a man has to seek Him just to find her". I read years ago that Brigitte was a Christian; I pray this is still true, because it would give me hope that I will meet her someday and thank her for being the godly example of womanhood I was searching for all these years. It would be nice to know the young woman I'm searching for knows where or from whom her motivations and happiness come from.
2. UNITY: She has a heart for people, so family and friends are incredibly important to her. It wouldn't surprise me if she reached out to a stranger, too. This can also mean faithfulness and trust; we should consider each other thoughts, even when we aren't together.
3. UNDERSTANDING: We don't always get the right answer on the test, but we strive to do our best for each other. In terms of doing the right thing, there is no substitute. If we are to survive, then we must be honest and caring when faced with those trials of life, and willing to share when faced with the consequences of life. With that said, I know I'm going to Flair Flop my share of responsibilities and what not, and all I can do is hope she will be understanding of my dumb moments o_O Dry humour is a worthy trait, too. The ability to make a serious statement, which makes you laugh for hours on end, is something I pray for. If you saw any of Brigitte Dale's videos, then you know what I'm talking about.
4. HARMONY: I love dogs, and I love cats ^_^ In my personal opinion, I wouldn't mind having a pet or two running about the home. Nothing says harmony like a home does, and that's where honour begins. If honour starts at the home, then you never leave home hungry.
5. TRUTH: The root to our happiness must be in the truth. From where we came from to where we should wind up, everything should be laid out in black and white: Once stated and believed, whatever enters and exits our home, or more importantly our hearts, goes through the Word first.
6. GOODNESS: This one is for me, because I must set an example so our partnership will stand the test of time. It shouldn't be a chore or part of a list of things to do, but I need to step up for my sake, and then for her.
7. BEAUTY: Ah, you noticed this comes last, eh? Very good ^_^, and you noticed I didn't make any reference to physical appearance so far. To be honest, I'm not going to win any beauty prizes; where I am from, if someone said to you that you resemble a young Muhammad Ali, then that was the summit of "male handsomeness compliments" (Is that what it's called? o_O). While physical attraction is a component in any romantic relationship, it shouldn't start here. Something six times as powerful as outer beauty is her inner beauty, so if she has an overabundance of inner beauty, then she is "stinking attractive"!

GOOD TIMES ^_^: Brigitte Dale and groovy YouTuber Supricky06 (Chris Thompson), 2009

I'm never going to get this right, and this is as much as I learned so far about "life matters". No doubt I left a few key things out of my edited list above, but I pray God will fill those holes in my life. This is a far cry from those "I'm Not Girl Crazy" and "Movie Star Glasses Girl" essays I'm usually good at writing, but I hope to bring some comedy back into this "Just Phil" space soon ^_^ It's good to be serious every once in a while. Thanks Brigitte Dale for helping me put into words who I should be looking for in another human being. While she isn't on YouTube anymore, you can find the "DVDiva" on NextMovie.com with weekly synopses of Blu-Ray and DVD movies hitting shelves each week.

By the way, if you noticed those seven points remind you of something you heard in a song, then you are right! "The Seven Rays" by Todd Rundgren's Utopia ^_^ My favourite version of that song is from the bootleg CD from his Hartford concert in 1978: The "LOL" Version. LOL

Valentine's: The Day After

So, how are you? Are you feeling better, or are you feeling worse? Unfortunately, "Retweet Taylor Swift" Day didn't catch on as I hoped, but western societies are going to give Valentine's Day another go next year around the same time.

According to various news media outlets in my hometown, some consider Valentine's Day the most hated and overrated of the annual holidays; there are different names for Valentine's like the pitiful "Single Awareness Day", violent "Anti-Valentine's Day", or "Let's All Laugh At the Procrastinators in the Lineup at the Florist Tonight" Day. Alright, I made that last one up -_- Nothing gets by you, does it?

LEIGHTON MEESTER: Wait, that's not Taylor Swift? o_O

The general consensus is that because 2/14 is Valentine's Day that means a growing population of the disenchanted and disheartened has a "right" to be angry. After all, we did everything a "nice guy" or "good girl" is supposed to do, according to Gossip Girl: Do the exact opposite of whatever Blair does at the start of each episode, more or less (Hi Leighton Meester! ^_^ Call me; we'll go bowling! o_O). Why are we still single? If those relationship books, trashy magazines, and internet "how to be happy" guides had any value, then by the time a dude finishes reading one of those he would already have a boss lady, er, girlfriend sitting beside him. Like the good turret in the video game, Portal 2, we do everything we are asked to do before being tossed into the incinerator while "junk turrets" get hitched, right? Wrong! We are neither turrets nor suckers for taking everything we read in Cosmo as gospel (alright, most of us aren't o_O).

I can stop looking at Taylor Swift any...time...I...WHAT?! Oh yeah, my BLOG!

It's 2/15 today, and around now most of the us, whom I shall term The Unhitched, are thinking about how snarly, sullen, or selfish we were the night before. We made decisions last night that we would not make on any other day because it was Valentine's Day, and we didn't want to feel left out. How many of us made angry decisions, sad decisions, or selfish decisions? Think about that 'Unhitched' person then, and the person you are now: There is a slight chance those are two different people! Both are alone, without answers, or forever asking "why?", but the difference between them is that for one day the former, 2/14 you was willing to settle because it was 2/14, and the real, latter, 2/15 persona deserves so much better: Both, rather all of you do! I recognize I could be overgeneralizing a whole host of people, because there are some genuine and authentic people meeting on Valentine's Day and hitting it off ^_^ If you fall in this category, I extend my congratulations and best wishes to you (You wouldn't happen to know if Taylor Swift is reading this, would you?)

Do not let circumstances define who you are; it doesn't matter what the date is, what matters is how you seize that day, and how you dictate what those circumstances are. A year ago I never imagined I would write down something so outlandish as this about the worst holiday ever, and there are times when being without a boss lady gets me down, but that should not mean I close up shop, row a boat into the middle of Lake Ontario, and then toss the paddles into the lake. As followers of this blog already know this point of view doesn't come out of thin air or experience, but from my relationship with my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. I'm not sure where you are personally in terms of how you get along during Valentine's Day, but I hope the results are affirmative and constructive, and not feigned or contrived. February 15th is as good a time as any to start fresh, and make the most Single Awareness Year and say hello, or something nice to someone because it is 2/15 ^_^

Dear readers,

I made a reference to Leighton Meester in the previous blog post. Do not worry about this recent display of affection for the Gossip Girl starlet. There is plenty of room in my heart for both Taylor Swift, and Taylor Swift...what was I talking about? Oh yeah, Taylor Swift; she won!

BAM HEAD SHOT! Momzo: Phil, are you crying? Phil: YNO!

Taylor, as your future husband, I MEAN o_O, loyal fan I congratulate you on your recent Grammy-winning success collecting two miniature gold gramophones Sunday night ^_^ I always knew you could do it, and I could never doubt someone so talented, genuine, wonderful, and stinking attractive ^_^ Thank you also for redeeming blonde hair and the term "head shots". BAM!

Being Girl Crazy and Other Tangents

If it wasn't for the Oakland Athletics trading away the 2010 American League Rookie of the Year Andrew Bailey to the Red Sox, then today would be a good day for me >_< Meh, it is what it is (Phil throws Wii Remote at wall). What?

Am I Girl Crazy?

During the Christmas holidays, the lead singer for the music group The Nearly Deads, the band I follow on Twitter and sometimes talk about on this blog, considered dyeing her hair last week. Thankfully, TJ did not change her hair as her current shade is PLATINUM, and I like PLATINUM...a lot. PLATINUM takes blonde to a whole other level, drives me crazy, and makes me type the word as such: PLATINUM in all capital letters. I'm also a fan of blondes, redheads, and brunettes, and girls with black hair; all of these shades are tied for first with PLATINUM, but I don't capitalize those like I do PLATINUM. Does this make me weird or just wired differently?

I do notice other shades, which are not as prevalent and maybe rarer than PLATINUM. Violet or purple hair is making the rounds in my town, and was once a lyric in a Nickelback song years ago (Don't quote me on that o_O). Sidenote: Also making the rounds is the current fashion of shaving off the hair from one half of your head. I don't mind this practice because most hairstyles, if not all the ones I encountered in life, tend to grow on me and finish in a tie for first place (I sported the BALD cut in high school: Me being BALD was not fun). I do have two questions about the "Half-Style" (?): What does it mean, and who started it? Hayley Williams of Paramore posted her portrait on Twitter with this bizarre look, and I admit I liked it! Nevertheless, according to the Rock Band video game, she doesn't remember what her original hair colour was before she started dyeing her hair, so her air of mystery increases by one billion! o_O Was this the first time she did the "Half-Style"? Why am I drawn to the "Half-Style"? Who came up with the "Half-Style"? Will I ever do the "Half-Style?" Are you crazy? What kind of question is that? Who am I talking to? o_O Where was I?

No, I did not stare at this photo of
Taylor Swift for 25 minutes and 14 seconds! >_<

Oh yeah, am I weird? No, I'm not weird for believing all hair colours are tied for first place, and awarding all hairstyles with the gold medal ("Half-Style" included). No matter what hairstyle and hair colour my future wife currently sports, I will still find Taylor Swift, o_O I MEAN, that random, mysterious, and sparkling young lady to be all the more lovable with each passing day. As for being girl crazy, I could just be over-thinking the issue; yes, I am looking for someone, but I should keep my emotions in check so I'm not staring all over the place and creeping people out!

Speaking as a fan of TND, I can't really picture TJ with any other hair colour than PLATINUM. I associate her with that colour, the same way I picture Hayley Williams as a redhead, or Taylor Swift with blonde hair, or even Taylor Swift with blonde hair ^_^ (What? o_O). Anyway, the Nearly Deads' lead guitarist Steve Tobi, drummer Cory Walen, and new bassist Keith Lee are cool cats as well; their music is well worth a listen to ^_^ Note to self: Turn to The Nearly Deads for guidance in case of zombie infestation o_O I'll like whatever hair colour TJ decides to go with in the future, and I appreciate her letting all TND fans on Twitter know what she's up to ^_^
Speaking of new bands following me on Twitter, a band called Throwing Gravity is after me o_O Is this because of that Inversion trailer I clicked on a couple days ago?! I'll see what these guys are about, and tell you more about them later. Apparently, TG and TND share the same record producer, Jon King ^_^ Hooray for lightning quick research skills (Google)!