I need to share this angle not to get sympathy from anyone, but to start a form of dialogue because I know there are many young men (and women) that may benefit from the dialogue and learn there is no shame or condemnation for being in the "Friend Zone". I will not promise "things will get better", nor say "if you have enough boyfriend material, this will happen...", because only you can live out the third or fifth wheel experience where you are, and it is no reflection on your personality or character. I can only share how "My Prom Story" made me the person I am today, and pray you will be a better person than I am.
Every June since that infamous day, whenever I see limousines drive past or PROM photos on my friends' Facebook pages, I would think about it and feel like garbage. In the early days, it was easier to live with because I was a naive young man fresh out of high school, and to quote Boris from Goldeneye (1996) I thought "I AM INVINCIBLE!" As I got older, I had difficulty dealing with those insecurities, and how I dealt with them was destructive.
Lately, writing about my Prom experience, and talking to friends about it feels therapeutic. Of course, I'm visiting those memories on a daily basis now, and you take the good, the bad, and the ugly memories as they come. Surprisingly, I only receive half of the cliche answers I expect when I share my stories, so at least I can count on people to listen, and understand there is a segment of the human population trying to figure things out.
Weddings and I, we...have a history. During the actual ceremony I am alright; in all other associated events, showers, or other engagement parties I am reluctant, reserved, on edge, or I am not there. My attitude and inner turmoil had a significant impact on my friendships: Severing some, and weakening others...(I paused longer than I should have here...someone left raw onions on my desk. I decided to go off topic, and appeal just to the single guy or gal that can't catch a break.)
I believe you are a much better person than I for not going through such a deflating, discouraging, life long experience, so I can only urge you to hang on. I will not promise things will get better, and I will not offer a list of "five things you should do to get girls" like in those idiot Cosmopolitan surveys, because those are not always true. You don't know who is counting on you to stay strong, because in that moment in time you are all they have. Therefore, I urge you to hang on. Please, hang on.
Perhaps the happiest and saddest thing about being me is when I play baseball the sport gives me a license to forget all of that garbage, and allows me to be someone else. I pray before the start of every inning, when I am on the field, and the burden of being "Just Phil" waits for me on the bench. Being single or knowing the love of your life is watching you from the stands should not have any bearing on how you perform in life; those God given talents, and then your drive and determination to use them well determine how great you will become. As long as you trust Him, "miracles" happen.
That's all I can think of right now. My apologies for the abrupt ending, but I have loads left to do, and this took longer than I thought it would o_O
Lately, writing about my Prom experience, and talking to friends about it feels therapeutic. Of course, I'm visiting those memories on a daily basis now, and you take the good, the bad, and the ugly memories as they come. Surprisingly, I only receive half of the cliche answers I expect when I share my stories, so at least I can count on people to listen, and understand there is a segment of the human population trying to figure things out.
Weddings and I, we...have a history. During the actual ceremony I am alright; in all other associated events, showers, or other engagement parties I am reluctant, reserved, on edge, or I am not there. My attitude and inner turmoil had a significant impact on my friendships: Severing some, and weakening others...(I paused longer than I should have here...someone left raw onions on my desk. I decided to go off topic, and appeal just to the single guy or gal that can't catch a break.)
I believe you are a much better person than I for not going through such a deflating, discouraging, life long experience, so I can only urge you to hang on. I will not promise things will get better, and I will not offer a list of "five things you should do to get girls" like in those idiot Cosmopolitan surveys, because those are not always true. You don't know who is counting on you to stay strong, because in that moment in time you are all they have. Therefore, I urge you to hang on. Please, hang on.
Perhaps the happiest and saddest thing about being me is when I play baseball the sport gives me a license to forget all of that garbage, and allows me to be someone else. I pray before the start of every inning, when I am on the field, and the burden of being "Just Phil" waits for me on the bench. Being single or knowing the love of your life is watching you from the stands should not have any bearing on how you perform in life; those God given talents, and then your drive and determination to use them well determine how great you will become. As long as you trust Him, "miracles" happen.
That's all I can think of right now. My apologies for the abrupt ending, but I have loads left to do, and this took longer than I thought it would o_O
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