The Things We Do: I Am a Disgrace to Men (Updated)

I just drove through a blizzard, in which I had I couldn't see out the rear windshield because all the snow on the roof of my car slid down and blocked my vision, to Wal-Mart to get the following items:

• Four boxes of Mike & Ike's
• Two boxes of Pop-Tarts
• Two 4-packs of rechargeable AA-batteries
• One bottle of iced tea
• One bag of frozen raspberries
• One partridge in a pear tree (No, I didn't get that last one. I wanted to see if you were still with us)

Just the first item should serve as an indication my priorities are skewed. Would one really risk his life for the sugar sweet taste of Mike & Ike's, which was the sole reason for the dangerous, night-time excursion?

There are three things in this world that I consider so sweet I would do anything to protect or keep them:

1. A lifetime supply of Mike & Ike's candies
2. Taylor Swift
3. A basketful of adorable, orphaned puppies and kittens with bows tied on the heads of each of them.

No one leaves candy on the train tracks!

It's true: All three are incredibly sweet, and I would brave a blinding snowstorm for the sake of each of them. It's also possible I would run at breakneck speed to save them from a dastardly villain wearing a black cape, coat-hanger moustache, eye monocle, and a top hat as he leaves them on the railroad track as a runaway train barrels down the hill (vivid imagination o_O). What was I talking about? Oh yeah, priorities...

In the real world, however, driving when the roads are in bad shape for the sake of food is narrow-minded, and to compare the sugar sweet goodness of candied jujubes to the sugar sweet goodness of an unnamed country music star with grace, charm, and incredible hair is just as foolish.

I suppose the lesson I learned is to heed the advice of weather forecasters and concerned traffic officials: Stay indoors, and only use the roads for emergency use. If you are on the roads, drive at slow speeds so not to cause accidents on the roadways.

How could anyone put Mike & Ike Candies before Taylor Swift?! o_O

Thinking about the sugary and gooey sweetness of the little pill poppers makes me wish I had some right now. WAIT A MINUTE?! I bought four boxes! This will be a great long weekend.

Happy Family Day everyone...Nom nom nom ^_^