Valentine's Day is just over a month away, and I am already feeling its effects. In past years, I did alright, and managed to hold together through all the Valentine's Day status updates and date night pictures. There were times, however, even living on Earth was very difficult, and I had to fall off of it for awhile.
One of the darkest moments of my life occurred over a year ago when I overheard my Dad speaking with some of his friends. They asked about me and what he could see was happening in my personal life. He noticed "the light went out inside of me"; I stopped smiling, goofing off, being ridiculous, and started talking less and withdrawing more compared to when I was in university surrounded by friends and immersed in having a good time. I can't approximate when I started feeling this way, but I guess 2010 is when things started unravelling.
Aside from work and blogging, I returned to doing the things I used to enjoy like music and now filmmaking (YouTube). I understand that a girlfriend or the mere title of "in a relationship" will not bring the happiness I am desperate to find. It's not a problem with Valentine's Day. Actually, it feels like an everyday problem. When I volunteer or play sports, for example, you don't notice it as much because in those moments I can become someone else, and spend less time being Phil Wood.
In conclusion, Valentine's Day is one of those days like my birthday, Christmas, and New Year's Day when being Phil Wood is worth sleeping through.
No comments:
Post a Comment