Loneliness: Cliches Don't Help Anyone

Happy New Year,

It was never helpful advice, yet over the years people said many of the cliche things about being single. Coincidentally, someone made a video about "Stuff Christian singles hear", and I posted it on my Facebook wall a few months ago.

Sidenote: I made a BINGO card, and in the squares I wrote some of these sayings. I did, however, leave a couple out for the purpose of analyzing them closely.

Do you know who else was single? Timothy...

If I ever say something like that to a young man suffering with loneliness, battling with patience, and on the brink of raging against his beliefs and relenting to sin and guilty pleasure, then stuff me in an automated funny car with no brakes, and force me to drive against traffic during Friday rush hour.

I have no right to disregard his emotions and feelings by comparing an insecure teenage male to one of the principal figures of the early Christian church. In both situations someone said that to me, it was done to shut me up, and focus on who I was not.

My life history is full of stories which
should have ended with me doing such things.

I am aware Timothy and his spiritual mentor, Paul, were single dudes whom God instructed to preach. The history of the kid pouring his heart out to you, however, is not yet completed; who are we to relegate his life concerns? Dudes, please listen to that young man speak before addressing his concerns and praying for him. There may come a time when you shouldn't say anything and just listen; he may need a sounding board to bounce ideas off, and pick the healthy ones from those that are disgusting.

Pray Harder

Nothing says "I don't know what to say to you" more than that statement. Praying for anything, should it be a person, place, or thing, any "harder" will not make it happen or change God's mind. His Holy Spirit determines whether that happens or not (Luke 11:9-13). There are proper and more important things that are essential in every walk of life to ask for in prayer, such as wisdom, discernment, patience, trust, devotion, and understanding. The benefits of using these gifts are in the obedience and adherence with God's will; knowing God's will also comes from reading His Word (Luke 19:11-27).

Therefore, listen to those with concerns, and pray for things they will definitely need in the future, even though they are asking and/or using little bits of it in the present.

That's all I can think about on this subject. Sorry for the unusual break, but the other half is on a different post. I thought it was important enough it deserved to be on another post.

Birthday Blahs

My Kind of Place: Instead of berating you for being
single on your 30th birthday, the Danes give you
heartfelt speeches, songs, and pepper mills (ACHOO!)

My thirtieth birthday is coming soon; no, I'm not going to tell you which day it is o_O Unlike in previous birthdays, I feel really upset about it. All day I thought about what tangible difference I made in the world up to this point, and I couldn't think of anything. Yes, there are great family and good friendships forged along the way, and sound advice I followed that kept me from serious harm or worse; as undeserving as I am for all these things and more, I am blessed by God and thankful to Him for all that I have. However, I feel I took more than I gave in return.

This could be the realization I lived a sheltered and selfish life, and I should undergo a thorough life examination, overhaul the life I live, and seek objective, professional help, or perhaps some of what I call ordinary and everyday happenings are actually life-changing and thought provoking moments for others? I would be selfish to demand answers from others, so instead I hope this would spark a discussion about ways each person can realize their potential and opportunities by making a difference in the lives of the people around them.

To lighten the mood, I am studying the internet for ways cultures around the world celebrate one's 30th birthday.

1. In Germany, a single 30 year-old man receives a broom from his friends. He then sweeps away all the ashes and dust off of his front step, which his friends place beforehand, only for his friends to mess it up again.
2. In Denmark, thirty year old single men and women receive pepper mills as gifts o_O They are also seated at tables for six hours surrounded by family and friends, who regale them with speeches and songs between meal courses.
3. One online source suggests giving 30 year old men beer and whiskey making kits. Dear friends: Don't give me any homemade alcohol kits, thanks.