Perspective, Roller Skates, and Free-Market Capitalism

A friend of yours from church discovered your dark secret. Instead of spending dozens of dollars at the shopping mall buying the latest, trend setting tops, unusually coloured trousers, and buckled shoes your friends Davin and Bekah like so much, you drive to almost the middle of nowhere, put down a few bucks, and enjoy four hours of... Roller Derby! 😲

Now, before you do your bad Cybermen impression, and "Deny! Deny! Deny!" Let's remember one thing: You're on film. 😮 💭 You're the goofy fan in the top row of the bleachers chowing on the tuna fish sandwich!

Yes, your secret is just broke loose and is the lead jammer, and now they're looping around on its first pass. You can be embarrassed, take a penalty, and sit out the next thirty seconds as your friends and onlookers berate you in a "power jam", or... THINK OF THE BOOK SALES!

For the first time since forever, you have the floor, and going outside to take in some family sports entertainment is a normal and neutral activity! Besides, you were surprised anyone made it that night...

You know, because it was the rookie team's second bout of the season, and they didn't lose by as many points as they did in their first game two weeks ago. #99 really improved their game and took no penalties, and what a great announcer "Mr. Whistler" is, and look at those buttons you bought last Saturday! You bought three button's with the travel team logo, no, it was two buttons and a keychain for only FOUR dollars, and the last at the register was so nice and she remembered you from the last time you went! 😊

You found there's nothing about which you should feel embarrassment! ☺ In a few minutes, you have a plethora of stories and experiences from which you can draw. 😀 Plus, if you remember enough stories, you can put them in a book, and people might even read them like they're reading this story RIGHT NOW! 😮 ❗ 😃

So, if you're having a bad day, or you need to recount an experience you had, own it with your words and take heart that you learned something. If all else fails, though, THINK OF THE BOOK SALES! 📚 😁

TEN THINGS YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT ME

Now that I'm thirty-two, I should admit some things about my life you may or may not know about me. These may come as complete surprises to some, but to others it is just an affirmation of things they suspected.

No, there's nothing here too alarming...or at least there shouldn't be. o_O

1. I complained about being single a lot. I felt entitled to some sort of reward for doing all the right things in life. I realized too late I received my reward in full: An empty house. I'm sorry for that, but I deserve it, too.
2. Baseball gives me the most joy. Where else can you forget who you are for an indefinite amount of time?
3. I can never trust bug spray manufacturers like OFF! It's a spray can full of irony.
4. I already started giving away my track jackets. Years ago, I bought an extra rack for all of them because they wouldn't fit in my closet. Now I'm getting rid of the clothes I don't wear anymore.

   

   Here, I get to be someone else, for a change.
5. The books that changed my life forever I gave away. I think good books should leave your possession, and go to people you love, so they can enjoy them the same way you did. I will never own another copy of Watership Down or Kingdom Come again. Superman: Red Son? Maybe.
6. I hate taking off my baseball cap in the middle of a game. The sweat irritates the scalp, and the heat makes everything worse! By the end, I'm a scratching post.
7. After five years, I stopped going to my favourite restaurant. I went there last week, and all four waiters ignored me, and served people who came after me. That was two days after my birthday; I was going to spend more than fifteen dollars on food!
8. I was on Christian Mingle. Oh yeah, I was there. I made a few good and wonderful friendships thanks to that site, and there were times I was quite the embarrassment to the family. There's nothing better than your Dad "accidentally" opening your email account to read your private emails from CM. What keeps me from going back there is remembering who I was, or who I am.
9. I used to scream when those generic, professional cute couple and wedding couple photos appeared on my computer screen. I usually just stay silent now, and avoid those web pages in the future.
10. As bad as things are, I still want to help people. Even if it's only one person who makes it, if there's something about my bad decision making or poor choices that convinces someone not to take the same path I did, then that's alright.