Blasphemy: I am the next Jimi!

I would type a bit more than what I have on the screen, however I am underneath a guitar, and my fingers don't want to stop o_O

This is Guitar Week at Phil's house ^_^ It's a time when I forget what I learned in the previous three weeks about the piano, and focus on learning how to play the guitar. This should be fun...

I asked my friend Greg, when I started practicing guitar months ago, he said "Once your fingers bleed, that is a good time to start" (I'm paraphrasing, but yes, it's true). You only started practicing when you fingers bleed; all you need now is to have a summer like the Summer of '69 (Hi Bryan Adams).

What do you think? Should I stop playing and address the blisters and cuts on my fingers, and retake safe instruments like the piano, or should I throw caution to the wind and keep playing my guitar long into the night?

Guy Chatter: A Certain Kind of Guilt

Allow me to be serious, for a moment...

It's not a death and destruction guilt, but it's a repentance and opportunity to do things right kind of guilt ^_^

On my Facebook News Feed, a friend of mine shared a post from one of those "internet think tank" websites. I am reluctant to read random works put on random websites I never knew before, however I have a vested interest in that particular field, so I decided to check it out. The title explains what it is about, and the link will take you to the site; the following paragraphs is just my response and opinions. Again, if you are younger than eighteen, I suggest you check with your parents/guardian first, and once they give the "all clear" you can read it.

"So You Want To Date My Daughter"

My stomach shudders in terror for two things: That McDonald's chicken wrap I ate three years ago outside Worcester, Massachusetts, and whenever I am guilty about something I did wrong. My story about my lone visit to McPuke's in five years must wait for another time, because this is a more pressing matter.

After reading Mr. Jared Wilson's checklist, I felt a huge amount of guilt and dread. I did equally huge amounts of dirt and drudgery in my past, and most of it when I thought no one was around, or none would notice. I was less worried about measuring up to Mr. Wilson's standards, although they are really high! I won't complain though; it's nice to see a father taking an interest in the Christian life of young men, as they must really love God first. I am more worried about not measuring up to God's standards, since He already knows I'm failing miserably o_O, and why I feel as upset about my shortcomings as I do.

"Why am I not doing that NOW?"

I don't want to do fulfill each of these goals so I can "appear good" or to "buy my way out of living in fear". If I am a Christian dude, then what is important to God and important with the "Mr. Wilson" you encounter should be important to me. Anyone and everyone can see if I'm keeping up appearances, and not living a life of repentance (does that make sense? o_O). Also, I know fulfilling the checklist means nothing, and doesn't guarantee any reward, pat on the back, parade through the streets of Toronto, or get my number retired at the Air Canada Center. What I should desire is clarity, peace of mind, and the ability to look at my friends and mentors in the eye and tell them what's up, and that only comes from God.

There were many times in the past, when I would seek after "Mr. Wilson's daughter" (Not literally, but I'm going by examples) or rather "God's daughter" (Most definitely and literally), and become very discouraged at my lack of...progress. In those weak moments, there are quick fixes everywhere, and some are available at the press of a button, or even at a click of a mouse. Even at twenty-nine years of age and after thirty Valentine's Days, those battles every dude encounters still rage within me, and I do the best I can with those: Praying, reading the Bible, play/practice music, write, go out, play games, or just stay busy (The younger me would say 'go on Facebook and spam your friends', but I found if you aren't careful you can be bit by the jealousy bug and make things worse). I like to say I'm doing alright, but it can be very difficult at my age, so there is no shame in me asking for a little prayer or help.

I am a little disappointed in some of the comments left behind by other readers trying to suit God's Word to their opinions. Instead of coming to terms with how they feel, they make up excuses in vain attempts to discredit the Word in order to write off the guilt. Please, don't be that guy: That is a warning something you are up to is not what you should be doing, and it is only a matter of time before it destroys you.

"Why am I saying this to you NOW?"

Right now, I am thinking about someone I know (You don't know her, I think? o_O). We are friends, however when I do think about her, I think about my relationship with God first, where that stands, and what my relationship with her might look like if I go for it...! She deserves the best, so I pray I can be the best person I can, but only in the eyes of God. It will not be perfect, plus those "inner battles" will never go away; I want a strong vertical relationship, for that strengthens my horizontal relationships. I felt this way about where I am standing and how I should be standing for a long time; I had this idea longer than I knew who she was, but I couldn't really put it into words like this.

Some things to think about, because I can only make so much sense (which isn't a lot o_O):

• The second book of Samuel, twelveth chapter from the BIBLE
• Covenant Eyes, Accountability and Filter Report Website thingy...?
• Go go Gadget Brain!

Mini Golf: Anger, Frustration, and Andrew

Phil's "I HATE THIS LOUSY GAME" golf club swing.

After church, I went home, turned on the television to the final round of the Masters, and fell asleep. Watching golf isn't one of my favourite things to do, but it is therapeutic LOL Congratulations to whoever won in the playoff, you did a good job ^_^ Really, uh, a good job o_O

If you ask most of my friends today, or even Andrew, then they will tell you I become a different person on the mini golf course. This warm, friendly, thoughtful person becomes an impatient, javelin-throwing monster prone to fits of rage and anger when someone puts a putter in my hands.


As I explain to my friends during pick-up games of basketball, when the ball leaves my hand I can't make any guarantees of any sort on the shot. The mechanics are there, the rim is close to my head, the ball in my hand, my feet are high off the ground, and I am two centimeters away from dunking or an easy lay-up, but once the ball leaves my hand I cannot guarantee what the basketball will do once it gets there. Regardless of the outcome, I am a relatively sane basketball player; I am going to get more than one point, but I'm also not going to lose my cool. I can control my destiny when it comes to mini golf, however, and when that two centimeter birdie putt rims out of the hole I can do so many wonderful things with a golf club, in particular when I decide it should go airborne.

Each tirade is different from the last: The tossing of the golf club across the length of the hole, the end over end club toss, the "jump in a circle and beat the ground with my golf club while screaming how my I hate this game" dance move, and my persistent angry mumblings during the game are all examples of how terrible a person I become on the golf course. I respect Phil Mickelson as a man, husband, father, and golf professional, but sometimes I think we are subject to the same fate in golf because we share the same first name. There is a difference, however: Phil Mickelson makes lots of money playing golf, but Phil Wood makes lots of noise playing golf.

It wasn't always this way. Once upon a time, I was very good at miniature golf (stop laughing, Andrew). There were those moments when I fired a golf ball into a busy shopping mall during Christmas time, or when I completed the course at Canada's Wonderland with a -2 score ^_^ Those were good times; no, those were great times. Those great times came to a head when I went with the church youth group and to an outdoor mini golf center nine years ago. I had a so-so day until our group tackled the uphill portion of the course (back nine), however I was really happy when I sank consecutive hole-in-one shots on the previous two holes, and I was looking for a third ^_^ We were behind another group my Andrew was playing with, when it was my turn to shoot. Everything lined up perfectly, and once I shot my orange golf ball in a straight line toward the cup I felt nothing would stop me from collecting my third consecutive birdie. I imagined how I would celebrate: Would I do a salute to Jack or would I fist pump like the late Seve Ballesteros? Suddenly, something happened that changed the way I would play mini golf from that day forward.

You see, Andrew saw me make two consecutive hole-in-one shots earlier, and he knew I was going for a third. So as I watch my golf ball roll toward the "Promised Land", I spot Andrew leave his golf group, walk down toward the playing surface, stand between the ball and the hole, and with his golf club hit the ball into the bushes!

I can't remember with great accuracy what happened after that moment, but I do remember walking the length of the hole, throwing my baseball cap in one direction, throwing my golf club in another, and picking up speed as I chased Andrew throughout the mini golf course. I couldn't regain my focus after that moment as I babbled on and on about how Andrew ruined my chances of three hole-in-one shots in a row. Every year since that incident, I always make a point of reminding Andrew, and everyone else in my mini golf group whenever we go out to a mini golf place, and it has a tremendous impact on my game. Which may be why I fail at mini golf so often, or why whenever we go out my friends want to be in my group because, at some point in the evening, I'm going to lose my mind and launch into another tirade. I must admit, Andrew is a nice guy, but he does a good job of masking his wacky and whimsical side for opportune moments such as that one.

In conclusion, mini golf and I have a love/hate relationship, but I would tell you in a minute that I would still play the game because it is a good game to play when out with friends. I will warn you, however, if you know someone like Andrew that would upset your bid for a record-breaking performance, make sure he is playing in another group further ahead of yours, otherwise you will be throwing your golf club and yelling at golf balls for the next nine years (Hi Andrew).

MUSIC CHALLENGE UPDATE: I'M SERIOUS!

Remember those? Yea, I thought I forgot about that challenge as well o_O

The face of a camera-ready star ^_^, or YouTube's "Winchester Red" o_O

If you are like me, then you miss "Winchester Red's" videos as much as I do T_T Don't worry; I have a plan. I am not exactly sure how it will work, because my movie making application broke down. There may be a way around that by uploading straight from my webcam, which means live videos with no edits and tons of mistakes o_O Wouldn't that be enjoyable to watch? What's that? Stop agreeing with me!

The last few months were tough in terms of meeting the music challenge: My first webcam breaks down, I buy a new webcam, my first electronic keyboard sounds like a coffee mug rattling against a metal fence, I buy a new keyboard, I realize I don't have a clue about what I'm doing with this keyboard, I discover drum beats recorded inside the keyboard memory banks, I remember I have a guitar, I remember I can't play it too well, and then I recall I can wing it with the several chords I picked up in practice and jam sessions with the electric and acoustic guitars my friends Bryan and Edgar own respectively (Hi Bryan, hi Edgar).

With updates for the webcam installed on my computer, I hope to get that movie making program up again. I have Adobe Premiere, but it takes forever to load, and my computer is put together by the same people who created Weak Sauce. I posted a few STORY TIME movies on my YouTube channel already, but nothing quite like what I planned ^_^ I'm going for a preliminary launch on Wednesday, April 4th, 2012.


Dear Jessica,


Please come back!


Your friend,
Phil

I Lost My Telegraph Machine! Let's Celebrate! Oh wait...

Whenever I write once a week, I always feel like months passed since I last wrote o_O Does anyone else feel that way, like I disappeared from the face of the earth and one day I'm suddenly back from my intergalactic space war in the Orion Belt System defending the important Sturgeon Empire outpost on the planet Sirius III from the dark alien forces of Zurg...Uh oh, I said too much o_O...! Moving on...

LOST: If it has an antenna, then it's probably mine :(

Upon my return from the Orion Belt star cluster, I mean, the weekend I discovered my cell phone, which I often refer to as the clunky telegraph machine used in relaying morse codes to telegraph stations on this side of the Atlantic Ocean. The battery was close to dead anyway, and no one is selling the adapter that goes with it anymore. I should be upset, but comparing my phone to what all my other friends are using I actually got off pretty well. This was not on purpose, mind you, but similar to when Professor Utonium accidentally added a special ingredient to the concoction he whipped up when he tried to make the perfect little girl: Chemical X.

SIDENOTE: When you mouth the words to the Powerpuff theme, do you like to stare at different points of the room with the same blank expression while the narrator is talking, or is it just me? o_O Sugar, spice, and everything nice...

I deleted my phone from Twitter, so whoever has it can't tweet obscene and ridiculous messages with it, even if there was any battery life left. Also, if they were using it to send messages and stuff, my friends would probably know it wasn't me, right guys? ^_^ Guys? o_O

ANGRY BIRDS: Who wouldn't find this funny?

I always wanted a new phone, but at the same time I want a good reason to move forward with the times. Examples would include getting a new job, moving to a new place, getting a girlfriend, or losing my phone (oh wait, that happened o_O). There are so many things you can do with today's phones, too, like find directions on the go, call ahead to a florist to buy and deliver flowers to your girlfriend at her work, play Angry Birds at the Dry Cleaners, close the garage door, balance the budget, cure cancer, save the rainforest, etc. Wait, what?

From what I gathered in all those cell phone commercials here in on Canadian television, U.S. television, and aboard, it is like we are doing everything but engaging with people. Sure, there are two people mimicking a conversation during a commercial, but it is ironic that the tool designed to build relationships is driving us further apart. I'm not crazy for thinking this, right?

Oh spiffy!

I just remembered where my phone is -_- I was driving in Momzo's car last night. It should be in the armrest on the driver's side door T_T I can't wait, dog gone it! COME ON!